Autumn in My Heart

It was raining, cold, windy and then sunny....all in one day, today. I like it, though.

I don't know why I like to talk about the weather so much. I always mention how the weather is and how I feel about it whenever I write about anything. We are a little creature living happily and sadly in this noisy big beautiful and lonely world. There are many things in this world that we do not and cannot understand, but what we understand is how the weather affects our feelings in that moment. Nothing is permanent, but the winter wind permanently blows in different directions, the rain and snow permanently fall from the sky to the ground, the leaves permanently change their colors when the fall comes, the sun permanently shines on us and never be lazy to do so....this may be why the weather is the topic I can talk about all the time because it is always there for me.

I like to feel the fresh air after the rain, especially when it comes along with the elegant colorful rainbow. I like to feel the wind blowing my hair scattered, I hope.....someday it will blow something into my life. I like to feel the change in the seasons, yet I am afraid of change.

Have you ever asked yourself, what are we meant to do and to be for this entire Universe? I am only a tiny spot in this huge planet. We are so tiny that we cannot be seen from the Google Earth map. Where am I supposed to stand on the map in order to see the world in the different beautiful view? Where am I supposed to stand in your heart? You know, I am getting lost in the landscape of your heart.

I believe that we all want to be found and loved in several ways. I am a loner, even though so many people love me....I don't know why. I assume that it's because I am only a human being as well as other people. We all are the same--mean, lovely, and lonely. That's why we are searching for live outside of Earth......we all are lonely!. NASA is the saddest history we've ever had in the world. Anyway, I believe in that saddest thing and hope someday we will find our "Little Prince". But before we find the innocent, caring, and understanding Little Prince in another planet, I'm wondering if it's possible to find him in ourselves. I hope...someday we will stop hurting each other. I hope....someday I will be able to drag the Little Prince who is hiding somewhere in the bottom of my heart out and to smile widely to you with pure heart that is innocent enough to deserve the meaningful glance from your naive eyes on me...I don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't want to be hurt anymore....either.

You know, I'm not even dare enough to believe that my Little Prince still exists within me. Life is so short as well as goodness is so rare.

I don't know how come I end up talking about this. I thought I started talking about the weather, didn't I? Well, there are so many things happening around us that we cannot concentrate to only one thing. Or this is life.......we cannot be only a white color, but also black, gray, purple, pink, red, blue, yellow, etc......like flowers-that have many colors, shapes, smells, yet there are still flowers growing from the ground and having roots. Like us, we are different but living under the same sun and having that "Little Prince" singing love songs and crying somewhere in our hearts.

It was raining, cold, windy and then sunny today. I like it,though.

Good day

Jiab